Oh Balad!

i really must suck at this whole blog thing.
i just erased what was supposed to be my first post..hopefully this will work, or I'm leaving. seriously.
so Alex started his blog again, i say this because now that i may have continuous Internet access it sorta motivates me to go for the gold. okay or not. But it did motivate me to give this thing another shot, so here goes nothing.
For the record I really don't like Balad, and i have no idea why I'm doing this, or at least, no idea why I'm doing this at this hour. It's one am and I'm manifested for a flight to Kuwait early tomorrow morning, from there hopefully I'll fly to Germany. I feel rather indifferent right now... i think that only because it's late and for the past few days I've been stuck in life's limbo trying to get out of this place. Finally, a chance to get a break and see the family, I'm excited(smile) i really am, it's just late. yeah.
so i suppose in a few days ill post up a couple copies of some letters i wrote to my brother a while back, just to make up for a the blogging i didn't do. I'm not a writer, sorry, and not a good blogger for that matter...which on some level i suppose is okay with me. Blogger is synonymous with angry bitter person, and even though often i can be both, who want to admit to that right? that's no fun. i guess I'm say hopefully I'm not...that would sorta suck as I'd like to think I'm mostly a glass half full type of person...mostly, I'm not perfect either.
and with that i think ill leave, because i have perfected the art of rambling on a tangent..and god bless you if you are still reading, because remember its one am, and i 'm not the writer, just a girl that wants her break, and can't wait to see her family.