yay blogging!

never blogged before...nice...:D
it's my last week at home, actually my last in the US...ouch, never really thought I'd say something like that...well at least for the next twelve to eighteen months. I think it hit me when we started packing up all our shit like a month ago. yeah. Since then i think I've answered the same handful of questions about lets see... a million times...yeah thats about right...
lets see if i can clarify some of them for you eh?
first NO, i don't know where exactly I'm going or what exactly I'll be doing...therefore, just about everything a a big question mark. NO i don't know what my schedule will look like, NO i don't know how communication will work when i get there and NO i obviously don't know my address and if your a real thinker you may have figured out that if i tell you i don't know where I'm going then MAYBE i don't know how hot the area will be. Please folks.
lets see.. how do i feel...
i don't know, weird?! It's odd thinking that your about to put your life on pause for a year. Not like its not weird enough being in the army and coming home to visit but everyone else's life will go on for a year. I'm gunna come back and poof! a year later. Once the reality of it all hits i find myself thinking of all the little things. things i won't do, have, or have access to. i won't drive my car down the street singing to whatever god awful song is playing. i won't go to the supermarket or over to a friends place. i won't wear civilian clothes. i won't pick my meals. i won't do my hair(other than in a bun)...their will be no need and nowhere to go...I find it's one of the hardest feeling to describe. It's not fear i feel, maybe a little bit anxious but i think thats reality.
I'm chill right now, almost like the calm before a storm. Their are some things that just don't matter. Or people that did that I'm done wasting my time with. is that mean? hope not, it doesn't phase me. i haven't made plans other than a small get together tonight. I'm not too stressed about it though who ever comes comes. I'm not worried about doing everything and seeing everyone. I almost feel just that much more numb than ever before.
Maybe now I'm just rambling..but isn't that sorta what the hell these things are, if its a total waste of time then i guess it just won't get read right?....
i burned my tongue on my coffee this morning...
and played duck duck goose to set this damn thing up....
more to come later but i gotta go.duty calls.
i need to get better at the whole blogging thing...